I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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