i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
