If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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