Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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