all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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