she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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