he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
