I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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