It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
