Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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