I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
