areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
