it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
