the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
