Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
