I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
someone owes me an orgasm
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
