they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
