i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
