Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
