She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
