i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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