he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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