i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
