We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
