i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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