We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
