It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
