And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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