i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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