oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
