clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
