Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
