You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
