I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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