used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
