My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
