she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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