Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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