I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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