There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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