Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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