Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
