I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
