Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
