Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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