So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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