out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
