best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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