I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
