that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
