i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
two words: eviction party
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
